I'll be honest, the Flatmate picked tonight's film. I've never seen it, known nothing about it, and I'm a little scared #TrashyTuesdayMovie
Especially since @AlanBaxter has spent the week threatening me with space genitalia. #TrashyTuesdayMovie #SpaceSamurai
Half an hour until the #TrashyTuesdayMovie. If you'd like to avoid the ranting, mute the #SpaceSamurai tag.
Settling in for the #TrashyTuesdayMovie. I am...afraid. #SpaceSamurai
I choose to start the movie...now #SpaceSamurai
Battle Beyond the Stars starts with the same theme music as Quest of the Delta Knights. Not a good sign #SpaceSamurai
Okay, how badly does this film want to be Star Wars? #SpaceSamurai
Flatmate: It's totally different to Star Wars if you take the shot from the side. Totally. Me: Ah-huh. #SpaceSamurai
Oh, my. They just shot something. I may actually hurt myself laughing. #SpaceSamurai
Aliens with markings over their eyes. It's like they were designed by Rob Leifield #SpaceSamurai
I think me and the evil galactic overlord have different definitions of "Sniper" #SpaceSamurai
The only way these FX could get any worse is if they were CGI. #SpaceSamurai
No, really, they *really, really* don't want to be Star Wars. But they did steal Luke Skywalker's costume. #SpaceSamurai
Am sad to report that @AlanBaxter is wrong - the giant Space Bollocks can't actually be bollocks - the ship being female #SpaceSamurai
Those positing that they are actually flying space Fallopian tubes may well be correct though #SpaceSamurai
Things stolen from Star Wars: dialogue; a horn section; costumes; camera angles. Things they forgot to steal: plot #SpaceSamurai
The plot wasn't moving fast enough, so we chose to slow down and recap it. Just in case you'd, like, forgotten #SpaceSamurai
And now that we have a plot twist, lets pause and *recap the fucking plot twist* #SpaceSamurai
Space...Cowboy? #SpaceSamurai
So, Nell the ship? Totally should be the protagonist of this film. #SpaceSamurai
Me: Is this a big planet destroying laser? Flatmate: It's a stellar converter. They told you that. #SpaceSamurai
Flatmate: It's a different kind of planet destroying laser, 'cause it turns the planet into a miniature sun #SpaceSamurai
Not content with Space Fallopian tubes, we've now added a ship designed to look like a guppy #SpaceSamurai
There was at least five minutes of dialogue there were I understood nothing that was said #SpaceSamurai
I swear, they wrote this script using D&D Random Encounter Tables and LSD #SpaceSamurai
We are higher beings who are showing up to help for...well, fuck, I dunno. We rolled a 20 #SpaceSamurai
The bad guys attack a wedding. Why? Who fucking knows? #SpaceSamurai
People's favourite phrase in this film is "Who sent you?" #SpaceSamurai
Apparently answering this is easier than actually trying to give character's depth #SpaceSamurai
This is not so much "Seven Samurai in Space" as "Seven Samurai on serious drugs" #SpaceSamurai
I keep waiting for someone to talk about bulls-eyeing womprats in their T-16 #SpaceSamurai
So, someone remind me, the Seven Samurai is actually a good film, right? #SpaceSamurai
'Cause I'm kinda wondering if they just forgot to steal the good parts for this #SpaceSamurai
Overly dramatic death scene! For really minor characters! #SpaceSamurai
Although, to be fair, the minor characters have as much depth as the major characters in this #SpaceSamurai
So the lesson here is you can turn a pacifistic culture into an army through the appropriate application of George Peppard #SpaceSamurai
Worst chainsaw ever #SpaceSamurai
Flatmate: There's no kissing in seven samurai. At least, not among the samurai. Me: This would seem a flaw. #SpaceSamurai
Somehow every enemy fighter pilot reminds me of someone playing Renfield #SpaceSamurai
Space Cowboy's death was almost a moment of emotional engagement. #SpaceSamurai
Another fifteen, twenty moments like that and I may actually start caring about this film #SpaceSamurai
There are no longer words. There is just, you know, fucking rage #SpaceSamurai
Well, that was...look, I'm not sure I want to call it a movie, but it was definitely something #SpaceSamurai
And with that, I have now seen Battle Beyond the Stars and start trying to drink away the memory #SpaceSamurai