So we're watching the extended edition of Doom tonight. Apparently someone thought the film needed extra minutes #Doomed
15 minutes til Doom. I think this film would be better if they replaced Karl Urban with a giant kitten named McShootyPaws #Doomed
Do here's the question: Will Doom be more or less comprehensible if I watch it in Magyar? #Doomed
Dear god, even the menu screen of this movie fills me with trepidation #Doomed
We choose to start this movie...now #Doomed
Waiting for the first appearance of Lt. McShootyPaws #Doomed
No good comes of slicing off someone's hand in the opening minutes of the film. #Doomed
The flatmate has elected to skip this film. Fortunately, one of my workmates has elected to join me #Doomed
This is 'cause my workmates are crazy. And awesome. And really crazy. #Doomed
I'm going to be very disappointed in this film if the Rock doesn't drop The People's Elbow on someone #Doomed
Someday, someone is just going to cut to the chase and make a film called REDNECK SPACE MARINE #Doomed
Listen up men. Leave is cancelled...'cause we must Layeth the Smacketh Down. #Doomed
LT McSHOOTYPAWS IS HERE! #Doomed
This films substitutes terseness for character #Doomed
Oh, dear god, the arsenal scene. I totally fucking forgot the arsenal scene. #Doomed
10 minutes into the film. Workmate is already starting to ask "why?" #NotAGoodSign #Doomed
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that next week's film will start exactly the same way as this one does #Doomed
Keith Urban is the most terse giant kitten ever #McShootyPaws #Doomed
Dear "The Kid". Everything you have done in the first fifteen minutes of this film screams "going to die" #Doomed
Fantasy films have lots of superfluous horse riding. Doom has lots of superfluous getting to places #Doomed
That's an awful lot of set-up just to rip of Stargate #Doomed
Okay, I get why a marine team has a heavy weapons specialist. Why, exactly, is there a guy with two handguns? #Doomed
hey, look, it's Lt. McShootyPaw's ex-girlfriend in the hot zone. WHAT ARE THE ODDS? #Doomed
Okay, I take that back. She's actually his sister. #Doomed
I was mostly confused 'cause he's a giant kitten, and she isn't. There's no real resemblance. #Doomed
OMG THE HEARTS ARE BEATING ON THEIR OWN. #Doomed #SceneIsLessScaryThanIntended
Hey, look, a hole in the floor. Nothing bad can happen now. #Doomed
Oh shit, they actually have the BFG in this thing. #Doomed
This film so wants to be Aliens when it grows up #Doomed
Lt. McShootpaws is looking pensive. I'm guessing bad things are going to happen. #Doomed
'Course, looking pensive is one of Lt. McShootypaw's strengths as an actor. #Doomed
Also, I stand by my theory: there is no film that can't be improved by pretending Karl Urban is being played by a giant kitten #Doomed
You know you're in trouble when the best thing about your film is a sleazy redneck space marine #Doomed
Lt. McShootyPaws is the only damn sane space marine in this film, I swear #Doomed
Okay, I get that the virus turns people into zombies. Why does it make a woman take her clothes off, though? #Doomed
Just found out that Rosamund Pike did a version of Pride and Prejudice immediately before Doom. This amuses me #Doomed.
In the future, no-ones ever seen a fucking zombie film #Doomed.
Apparently one of these marines is named Goat. I'm just not sure which one #InterchangableCannonFodder #Doomed
What was that? "A monkey." Dialogue at its best #Doomed
Hooray! We just identified Goat. He's the crazy religious nutbag #Doomed
Apparently lightweight space marines grow really heavy when dipped in water #Doomed
Oh, Kid, you're the new guy, the screw-up, the junkie, and the guy standing next to the protagonist #Doomed #SoDead
Oh, wait, there are *zombies?* We should probably evacuate then #Doomed
The problem with the Rock as a bad guy is that I always expect him to bust out "It DOESN'T MATTER What your name is" when he's angry #Doomed
Raz Adoti does one of the world's best LL Cool J impressions #Doomed
Doom: never met a cliched line of dialogue it didn't like. #Doomed
It's hard to take a bad guy seriously when his main power is ejecting his tongue like a cassette tape #Doomed
Oh no, Karl Urban's having flashbacks to his childhood as a young kitten. This won't end well #Doomed.
You can always tell a quality Trashy Tuesday Movie when someone's head falls off #Doomed
Kind of sad, though. Mac was the best character in the film thus far #Doomed
We're an hour into this film. How is the Kid still alive? #Doomed
At least Doom skips the Orange part of the orange and teal colour scheme #Doomed
Zombie Goat! #Doomed
Okay, bonus points for being an action film where characters actually answer the call of nature #Doomed
Wait, you have a hand-to-hand fight inside a steel cell, and one of the characters isn't The Rock? FAIL #Doomed
And someone gets pulled through the ceiling. Seriously, someone needs to create Space Marine bingo cards #Doomed
Deobia Oparei played Destroyer in Doom. He's also a 7' Sydney drag queen. #Awesome #Doomed #ShitYouNot
The glory of The Rock is his ability to deliver fucking stupid dialogue with absolute conviction #Doomed
The same, of course, can be said for Lt. McShootyPaws #Doomed
Workmate: They have a system that will beam you between planets, but they can't make a two-way radio smaller than a brick #Doomed
Doom: a world in which evil is genetic #Doomed
It feels wrong that The Kid has lasted this long in the film #Doomed
He's ruining the curve for teenage fuck-up Space Marines everywhere #Doomed
I should have run a count on the number of times Lt. McShootyPaws uses the word Hell #Doomed
No, wait, there he goes. Alas, poor Kid, you were fine until you grew a spine #Doomed
Dexter Fletcher: the sole guy in Doom whose actually scene a zombie film and knows what's coming #Doomed
And a marine gets puled through the floor. BINGO! #Doomed
Oh, dear god, I forgot the first person sequence #Doomed
Go, Lt. McShootyPaws, go! #Doomed
This is both excellent and terrible at the same time. It's Terexibllent. #Doomed
Okay, where are the super-zombies getting chainsaws? #Doomed
Oh, dear god, Lt. McShootyPaws just hit a respawn point. FUCKING HELL, MOVIE, JUST KILL ME NOW #Doomed
I am conflicted. On one hand, ending a Doom film on a hand-to-hand fight feels wrong. On the other, The Rock finally wrestles #Doomed
Also, it's the best chance we're going to get that he'll finally drop a People's Elbow #Doomed
Lt. McShootyPaws isn't made for hand to hand combat. He has, like, shooty paws. Pew Pew Pew #Doomed
Dear god, that film was terrible. I feel like we just made up for Red in one night #Doomed
Thanks for sharing that with me twitter. If you're up for it, next week we're watching Resident Evil #Doomed