Tonight's #TrashyTuesdayMovie is Masters of the Unicerse. In honor of the inimitable @kapowe, we already have a tag: #VeganBarbarian
On the team tonight: @PrimeSarahBlue and @tinstargames #VeganBarbarian
I choose to start the movie...now #VeganBarbarian
Today has been a really good day. I feel it's about to start going downhill #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] First question of the night: is there MotU porn? Answer: we don't want to know. #VeganBarbarian
DOLPH! #VeganBarbarian
It's a bad sign when you could have broken out the toy version of Castle Greyskull and had better special effects #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Think about this: Frank Langella has played Skeletor AND Nixon. That's a hell of a resume. #VeganBarbarian
Flatmate: They totally just got some stormtrooper outfits and painted them black #VeganBarbarian
Meg Foster as Evil-Lyn. I can't wait to see Roddy Piper as Man-at-Arms #VeganBarbarian
So we're going to compete with a toy line as popular as Star Wars figures...by remaking Star Wars, but shit #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Okay Langella's mask sucks but he has the best cloak, poise, and theme tune. This guy rocks evil overlord. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] And he starts out in charge and with the good guys decimated. Style. So very Vader. #VeganBarbarian
He-Man. By the power of Greyskull, he has the Mullet #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] LASERS! #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Peter: Fuck you, why aren't you Orko? Roommate: Because Orko sucks. Peter: So they replaced him with something worse??? #VeganBarbarian
The Masters of the Universe mythos has a floating wizard named Orko. For inexplicable reasons, he's been replaced by Gwildo #VeganBarbarian
Gwildor needs to give Dolph a lightsaber #VeganBarbarian
We have a license based on *awesome looking toys*. Lets give them all bad hair #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Beastman appears to have Ivanna Trump's hair. WTF? #VeganBarbarian
They should rename this film "How to waste the talents of Frank Langella" #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Every time Dolph says anything you just want to hug him and say "well done!" like a good puppy. #VeganBarbarian
Dolph, you must go to earth and learn to be a Jedi Knight like your father #VeganBarbarian
Quick, someone exposite #VeganBarbarian
The 80s. When young girls had the reasonable dream of moving to Jersey instead of New York #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Courtney Cox has a dream: she wants to move to New Jersey. #bigdreams #VeganBarbarian
Oh hell, that's Courtney Cox #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Now, a ten minute side plot about fast food. Praise America! #VeganBarbarian
And we reach the scene that gave us our hashtag, in which the manly soldier eats meat and everyone else is grossed out #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Almost subtlety: the couple have to break up because she blames him for her parent's death. #VeganBarbarian
People in bad movies are far too impressed by unknown technology with blinking lights #VeganBarbarian
When they remake this, Tom Paris will be replaced by Matthew Lillard and there will be two people who can act in this film #VeganBarbarian
Dear movie. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME CARE ABOUT THE SECONDARY CHARACTER. MAKE ME CARE ABOUT HE-MAN #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] It would have been so much easier to have been a cosplayer in the 80s as the film characters were wearing plastic and alfoil #VeganBarbarian
EXPLOSIVE DOORS! #VeganBarbarian
Blade is rocking the Two Weapon Fighting feat #VeganBarbarian
They set fire to the gym and ruined the prom. Which is what you want from a He-Man movie #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Courtney runs from the prom to the junkyard. In the 80s, every town was those two and the mall, and nothing else. #VeganBarbarian
Villains do random villainy things #VeganBarbarian
Jimmy Hendrix. Also what you want in a He-Man movie #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Oh, and electronic stores. Which is going to explode so badly so soon, because they always do. #VeganBarbarian
James Tolkan is in this film. It's immediately a billion times better. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] John Tolkan has arrived. The baddest baldest bastard of the 80s. v #VeganBarbarian
Apparently if He-Man is standing next to a traumatized woman, the implication is that he's going to get it on #VeganBarbarian
You know things have gone off-track when you're debating Blade's pubic hair with your flatmate #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] I'm hoping that the bad guys are all going to die in order of how little hair they have. No, I don't want these ones to win. #VeganBarbarian
I'm going out on a limb, but you're totally not selling the He-Man Pink Cadillac in the numbers you think you are #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Meg Foster is owning this film. Not that the competition is stiff. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] The Past Viewer. The Truth Collar. These guys have AWESOME tech. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Oh, and Blade. Blade is a two-sworded bad-ass with razor ears and a techno-eyepatch. I love him. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Minor character is genre aware. *puts coin in cliche cup* #VeganBarbarian
Stormtroopers. They've got no respect for windows #VeganBarbarian
Poor music store. It's getting trashed #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] The mass destruction of instruments should really make more noise and/or have better background music. #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] All orphans in the 80s were this gullible. *nods* #VeganBarbarian
Flatmate: Evil Lyn - getting shit done since 1987 #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Evil Lynn accomplishes the goal in two minutes, what a horde of soldiers couldn't in twenty. She is the hero of this film. #VeganBarbarian
Stay right there And pay no attention to the fact that the building is on fire #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] James Tolkan is Bruce Willis in this film. A whole car exploded on top of him and he just did a cool one-liner #VeganBarbarian .
Look at that mullet waving in the wind #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] The most important technical device in this entire film is the grappling hook. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Skeletor's music is ALMOST THE IMP ERIAL MARCH BUT NOT SO IT CAN'T BE SUED DUM DUM DADADA DUM DA DUM DA #VeganBarbarian
All He-Mans plans fall apart 'cause no-one in his team can stay in their damn sector #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] Yep, I'm shouting at the t.v. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] And the frisbees are the speeder bikes. But at least they stole from the classics. #VeganBarbarian
Frank Langalla seems brilliant in this film 'cause his masks hides his abject horror at being in it #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] He-man! No! It's a trap! So not Star Wars. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Pink lightning from the not-emperor's throne. #somuchtheft #VeganBarbarian
POISON LIGHTNING! Skeletor is bad-ass. And by bad-ass, I mean fucking lame #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Wow. Skeletor's evil pink lightning fires hideous tumours into your flesh. That's worse than the Emperor's zaps. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] And now, rock and roll will save the world. Go Tom Paris and his magic keyboard! #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] Skeletor's leitmotif is so delightfully close to the Imperial March. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Magical prophecy out of nowhere. #VeganBarbarian
Wait, swords are actually important now? Did we remember that was supposed to be a thing? #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] TECHNOHILT! #VeganBarbarian
Blade's using a laser whip. I call gimmick infringement #VeganBarbarian
Occasionally this film stops ripping off Star Wars in order to rip off Flash Gordon #VeganBarbarian
And now the world will be saved by Moog #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Gwilldor PHONE HOME! Radioshack saves the day. #VeganBarbarian
Okay, sorry, saved by Casio. Forgot we were in the eighties for a moment there 'cause Dolph's hair was off-screen #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Langella is breathily mumbling about the universe within him. Less a villain monologue, more a relaxation tape. #VeganBarbarian
It's like someone sat down and asked "how can I make Skeletor even lamer? I know - Galactus' helmet!" #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] He united with the universe and all he got was Galactus' hat and eye beams. #VeganBarbarian
[PrimeSarahBlue] And then Skeletor gets Fabulous! Yay! #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Twilight Zone namechecked. *coin in cup* #VeganBarbarian
And so James Tolkan cements his place as baddest mother-fucker in this film #VeganBarbarian
So...a fight between a sword wielding good guy and a bad guy with lightning powers. This seems...familiar #VeganBarbarian
I wonder if someone is going to get thrown down a bottomless something? #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] I just worked it out. James Tolkan in the Lieutenant Gordon of this film (from Godzilla Final Wars). #VeganBarbarian
Why on earth didn't He-Man yell "I have the power" earlier and spare us this terrible film? #VeganBarbarian
Masters of the Universe: the terrible Star Wars prequel you watch when you want to feel better about Star Wars prequels #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] And the mage decides to fight the warrior hand to hand. #VeganBarbarian
Skeletor falls down a bottomless something. Then Eternia self-destructs #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] He threw Skeletor down a giant pit. George Lucas gonna SUE SOMEBDOY. #VeganBarbarian
Eternia's number one show: Pimp My Gwildor #VeganBarbarian
I endorse James Tolkan being the pimp-king of Eternia #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Courtney Cox is in a chin to ankle flannel nightgown. Tom Paris is in a leather jacket. His career zenith, her nadir. #VeganBarbarian
These are totally not the closing credits from Star wars. They really, really aren't #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] Oh god this theme. SO MUCH THEFT SO MUCH THEEEEEFT. #VeganBarbarian
[tinstargames] HeMan was the weakest part of that film. That sums it up. Langella and Forster and Tolkan owned. #VeganBarbarian
And that was Masters of the Universe. Next week, we delve into the world of Super Mario Brothers #TrashyTuesdayMovie