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Quest for the Delta Knights

Page history last edited by Capellan 11 years, 2 months ago

I choose to start this movie...now #DeltaKnight
Holy Jesus, there so much wrong in the first minute of this film, I'm kinda speechless. #DeltaKnight
I mean, just look at all those pore Ren Fair folks getting slaughtered while there's a voice over #DeltaKnight
Flatmate: There is much meaningful staring. #DeltaKnight
Also, there is a great deal of meaningful beard. #DeltaKnight
Six minutes in. This is the point where @jasonifischerio predicted we'd abandon the film. Alas, we aren't that smart #DeltaKnight
My name is Beydool. You're no longer a slave. #DeltaKnight
You can tell Baydool is a mentor-type - he's the only one whose English accent is vaguely authentic #DeltaKnight
And you better appreciate it - the entire films budget went on that accent, kid #DeltaKnight
Random sword-fight. #DeltaKnight
Ooops. Whole bunch of plot-type shit happened while Flatmate and I were debating the career of David Warner #DeltaKnight
This film has some serious Viking Horns #DeltaKnight
It's kinda hard to take "Crimes against the Mannerjay" seriously as a reason for execution #DeltaKnight
Flatmate: Someone without talent saw Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. This movie was the result. It explains everything #DeltaKnight
And, oddly, it kinda does #DeltaKnight
David Warner - presumably paid for playing two parts in this film, still not paid enough #DeltaKnight
OMG! A SECRET ROOM! #DeltaKnight
I really should be drinking. #DeltaKnight
Delta Knights are dedicated to bringing mankind out of the dark ages and into enlightenment #DeltaKnight
Somehow it never fucking occurs to them that they should *leave the goddamn Renaissance fair* #DeltaKnight
Okay, what the fuck is Archimedes getting dragged into this shit for? And Atlantis? WTF? #DeltaKnight
Why is a scientific brotherhood determined to bring mankind into a new age of enlightenment following a prophecy? #DeltaKnight
Time passes. In the film, apparently. In real life, this is rather like being stuck in a timeless hell #DeltaKnight
The sad part - this film is like 17 kinds of shit. It's still more watchable than Suckerpunch #DeltaKnight
You know, I'm not sure making your bad-guy farcical is the best idea #DeltaKnight
Okay, really? The Wizard Wamphool? #DeltaKnight
Okay, what the fuck is Richard Kind doing in this shit? The man has talent. And a career. #DeltaKnight
When all your bad guys a farce, it just makes your good guys look like idiots for being thwarted by them #DeltaKnight
Apparently being the prophesied one meas you can throw a 10 year old out into the world to fend for himself #DeltaKnight
So why did David Warner get arrested? 'CAUSE OF PLOT #DeltaKnight
We're developing theories as to how this movie this bad gets made. #DeltaKnight
Flatmate's theory is that it was made by someone who has seen a bunch of other films, but failed to understand them #DeltaKnight
My theory is that it was meant to be a Disney-filmed YA romp that was made as a serious film by accident #DeltaKnight
The truth is probably "drugs and a generous credit limit" though #DeltaKnight
Plus they had some ren-fair types who *really, really* wanted to wear some plastic Viking helmets #DeltaKnights
It took 45 minutes before I finally broke, but I want to stop watching this #DeltaKnight
Oh, look, a tavern scene #DeltaKnight
first this film makes no sense. Then Leonardo Da Vinci shows up to save the protagonist and hook him up with a girl #DeltaKnight
So one of these characters is a full grown man. The other is 10. Why is the kid responsible for knocking people out? #DeltaKnight
Worst. Bandits. Ever. #DeltaKnights
Flatmate: How is that tent supposed to hold anyone prisoner? Me: It's got a door. Who'd think of leaving when there's a door #DeltaKnight
You know, Leonardo Da Vinci is a kind of shit mentor in this film. He knows nothing and gets kids to do the hard stuff #DeltaKnight
Riding horses through a forest. Must be a fantasy film #DeltaKnight
In a moment of confusion about his character, Leonardo Da Vinci does something useful #DeltaKnight
No! They blew up the cave! How will they ever move that much polystyrene rock? #DeltaKnight
I'd say that ending was completely unsatisfying, but at least it matched the rest of the film in that regard #DeltaKnights

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