About an hour til the #TrashyTuesdayMovie livetweet. This week, Tekken. You may want to mute the hashtag if it's not your thing #GoJin
Also, as a warning, I've got a throat infection and a fever this evening. This film may actually make me vomit #GoJin #TrashyTuesdayMovie
I've not yet made it past the menu screen, but I'm already willing to complain that Yoshimitsu looks insufficiently bad-ass #GoJin
I choose to start the movie...now #GoJin
Flatmate: "I feel like Tekken tonight...like Tekken tonight" #GoJin
Wait, why did no-one tell me this was a Fighting Game turned into a Cyberpunk film? #GoJin
This feels so nineties. How long does it take the Terminator's to show up and send Jin back in time? #GoJin
LUKE GOSS! SO NINETIES! #GoJin
This movie is so very bad, and yet I can tell I'm destined to adore it beyond belief. Tekken! #GoJin
EVIL MUSTACHE! #GoJin
Evil Mustache is doing evil things. Our protagonist is getting laid #GoJin
firing missiles while your own men are still in the building? Evil Mustache is MEGA-EVIL #GoJin
So, our protagonist is on the run from the law and his mother is dead. Who votes he enters a martial arts tournament? #GoJin
Now we have memory flashback montages, just in case we missed the protag's central conflict #GoJin
Flatmate: We just had bullet time on a kick #GoJin
You know, I'm utterly convinced. Can someone give Dwight H. Little a budget and the rights to adapt Neuromancer? Please? #GoJin
Oh, Evil Mustache, nothing says evil like a meaningless three-way #GoJin
Huzzah, an Emo Russian martial artist #GoJin
I know he's not a protagonist, or a hot chick, but I kind of want the Emo Russian to win Tekken #GoJin
Flatmate's repeated refrain as Jin tries to sleep with hot female fighter: "You have a GIRLFRIEND, you douche." #GoJin
'Course, upon cheating on his girlfriend, Jin's promptly attacked by assassins. Not like he isn't paying for it. #GoJin
I am unreasonably fond of this film. It was supposed to be terrible, and it's...not. #GoJin
Temporary pause of the action while the flatmate answers a phone-call. #GoJin
Flatmate: You know, if Jin was to cheat on his girlfriend with Luke Goss, that would be okay #GoJin
Hostile Takeover #GoJin #PerfectCyberpunkFilmISwear
Okay, cutting back to a shot of Jin's girlfriend in the Anvil is just cruel. It's one thing to pretend she doesn't exist anymore... #GoJin
Evil Mustache has an Evil Trench-coat. #GoJin
And now we borrow a plot twist from Empire Strikes Back. Wonder how long it is til Jin loses a hand? #GoJin
Me: Were they firing as they somersaulted through the windows? Flatmate: Yes. Yes they were #GoJin
And now Luke Goss is gunned down. #GoJin
Flatmate: This entire escape sequence feels slightly superfluous #GoJin
Dude, you gotta stop blowing up buildings while your underlings are inside #GoJin
Finally, the Emo Russian is action. Unfortunately, he seems destined to lose #GoJin
Poor Emo Russian. He deserved better #GoJin
And now we see the point where the plot falls apart and STOPS MAKING SENSE #GoJin
Okay, so the entire last twenty minutes of this film were bullshit, but before that it was okay #GoJin