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Zardoz

Page history last edited by Capellan 11 years, 2 months ago

I choose to start the movie...now #RedNappie
Why is there a floating head on my screen? With a badly drawn on mustache? #RedNappie
So yeah, floating heads are a thing in this film #RedNappie
Film: "The Gun is Good, The Penis is Evil." Me: ... #RedNappie
Call me crazy, but I demand more from a god than vomiting up shotgun shells #RedNappie
So, Sean Connery, why did you choose to hide in the mouth of your god for no apparent reason? #RedNappie
Flatmate: This was, apparently, the only job Sean Connery could get after James Bond #RedNappie
And so our narrator is offed in the opening minutes of the film. 'Cause...well...fuck, who knows? #RedNappie
Apparently Boorman doesn't believe in things like character motivation...or, you know, making sense. #RedNappie
Apparently, in the future, English manor houses will wear condoms #RedNappie
I could forgive Zardoz for being crazy and inane. I cannot forgive it for being unbearably dull with its inanity #RedNappie
Fuck, lady, I don't care *how* he came to be here, I care about why. Give me some indication this film has a point #RedNappie
Things I like about: the savage Brutals wear suit jackets. There. Totally done. #RedNappie
We may have finally found a film that makes me long for Suckerpunch. At least it had good music #RedNappie
Flatmate: You did just see Sean Connery lick another man's hand. Me: I don't care #RedNappie
You know, I really wish Boorman had just acquired the rights to adapt Brave New World. It would have saved some time #RedNappie
So I know that, in theory, many of the people involved in this film can act. Unfortunately, they choose not to #RedNappie
Flatmate: Spirit fingers. Me: I don't care. Flatmate: This movie would be far more awesome if it had cheerleading in it #RedNappie
Oh, god, Sean Connery is forced to mime #RedNappie
If they pitched this film as two hours of watching Sean Connery punch old blokes while wearing a leather nappy, it'd work #RedNappie
Holy shit - we're on the verge of having two consecutive minutes of cause-and-effect based plot #RedNappie
I'm an hour into this film and they're still explaining the setting. This is why people hate SF. #RedNappie
Dear John Boorman - fuck you, you prick. I want this last hour back #RedNappie
So, yeah, this has just veered from stupid to insulting #RedNappie
There are plenty of films considered high art that are, essentially, tediously dull shit #RedNappie
So Sean Connery's sweat seems to be some form of ecstasy. #RedNappie
The seventies were not a kind decade for cinema #RedNappie
So a John Boorman movie ends in an orgy. Even this is tediously dull. Fuck. #RedNappie
This film isn't bad, it's just sad. A sad old man with a sad old philosophy. #RedNappie
Making sense is a thing that happens in other movies. #RedNappie
I have a great deal of empathy for every character in this film who wishes for death to escape the tedium #RedNappie
You know, if they'd actually told this film in chronological order, it'd actually be dramatically improved #RedNappie
Somewhere amid the interminable dreck, Sean Connery leveled up and got himself some pants #RedNappie
Just when I thought this wouldn't get any worse, Sean Connery has an aura #RedNappie
Usually we snark on bad films from a place of affection. I have no affection for Zardoz #RedNappie
Wow. That was terrible. I'm actually looking forward to Hell Comes to Frogtown next week - at least it'll be bad instead of dull. #RedNappie

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