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Zombie Lake

Page history last edited by Capellan 10 years, 11 months ago

Ten minutes 'til the #TrashyTuesdayMovie. Tonight we have #ZombieLake. Last time the Flatmate was this giddy about a film, it was Starcrash.
Flatmate: I don't regard watching Starcrash as a drawback. Me: That's 'cause there's something wrong with you #ZombieLake
I choose to start the movie...now #ZombieLake
Flatmate: so...you ready? Me: No #ZombieLake
This is, officially, the least zombie-like zombie movie opening I've ever seen #ZombieLake
48 seconds until there's a naked character on screen. I think we have a #TrashyTuesdayMovie record #ZombieLake
So, this zombie movie? Its set-up is all naked people and swans #ZombieLake
You have no idea how much I want this lake to be a zombie, instead of being filled with zombies #ZombieLake
That's a very green zombie #ZombieLake
So, yeah, I have no idea what the hell I'm watching, but I'm very, very afraid #ZombieLake
7 minutes into the movie. We finally get dialogue. And people wearing clothes #ZombieLake
And a dude with a pretty sweet pipe #ZombieLake
Random woman has gone missing and left behind her handbag. Quick! To the mayor's office! #ZombieLake
If we wait long enough, the major will call the police. The lesson here: never get lost in France #ZombieLake
Worst. Zombie. Attack. Ever #ZombieLake
Zombies in Zombie Lake are capable of making you bleed after gumming your neck for a few seconds #ZombieLake
Reasons not to die in this town: once you're a corpse, people will just perv on your underwear #ZombieLake
This is the most terrifying zombie movies I've ever seen. Mostly 'cause its grotesquely bad #ZombieLake
Me: These people are allergic to dialogue. Flatmate: Dialogue requires acting #ZombieLake
My flatmate warned me things would go downhill when the dialogue started. He wasn't exactly wrong #ZombieLake
We have seen some clumsy exposition on Tuesday nights. This movie, however, is worse than all the others combined #ZombieLake
PORTENTOUS CLOSE UP OF PEOPLE's EYES! #ZombieLake
It takes some special effort to make a zombie film with more nudity than Zombie Strippers and Return of the Living Dead #ZombieLake
This is the worst sex-scene I've ever seen. It edges out Kull the Conqueror for the top spot simply by *refusing to end* #ZombieLake
This film is terrible, but I've got some pretty mad respect for this guy's beard #ZombieLake
Me: Oh God, this is 90 minutes long. Flatmate: That's not a long film. Me: No, but it's far too long for this one #ZombieLake
Honestly, if you're not watching #ZombieLake right now, I kinda envy you.
Flatmate: Continuity. Not what this movie is strong on. Me: What is this movie strong on? Flatmate: Boobs #ZombieLake
Why is the women's basketball team playing volleyball? #ZombieLake
The Flatmate is wrong: boobs aren't a strength of this movie. There's a difference between "constantly present" and "strength." #ZombieLake
I think I'd rather rewatch a Zardoz/Starcrash double feature than finish watching this movie #ZombieLake
There's only a handful of people who will get this, but #ZombieLake is the cinematic equivalent of Space Train.
This movie doesn't have continuity. It has...um...look, a squirrel! #ZombieLake
Hey, look, a sex scene. Bet you weren't expecting that when you wondered out of the lake, zombie ghosts #ZombieLake
This movie has an average rating of 2.6 on IMDB. The people who are lifting that rating above 0 deserve to be punished #ZombieLake
They really should have just skipped the lake and made a movie about zombie boobs. It would have saved time #ZombieLake
Every time I think this movie has failed on every level, it introduces some new levels, then fails on those too #ZombieLake
The zombies are fighting. 'Cause the other zombies don't want the main zombie to bring his daughter into the lake #ZombieLake
So far, that's as much plot as this movie has mustered. #ZombieLake
We have now blown the thirty seconds of plot this movie has. Back to poorly made-up zombies shambling through town. And boobs #ZombieLake
Actually, I'll give credit where it's due. The movie has gone at least five minutes without bared breasts at this point #ZombieLake
Never has so much been done, with so little plot #ZombieLake
RANDOM CLOSE-UP! #ZombieLake
Why isn't this movie over? Someone, please, make it stop #ZombieLake
[@crowroadaw] @petermball just broke. Victory to #ZombieLake
I'm tweeting 'cause I am no longer able to articulate the things I want to yell at the television screen #ZombieLake #MakeItStop
Me: I predict he's going to be a asshole. Flatemate: No, just creepy. *We Watch* Me: Yep, okay, that was worse #ZombieLake
Why are they firing the flame thrower at the window, instead of aiming it at the zombies, who have been set alight anyway? #ZombieLake #Help
I'm kinda hoping that the burning zombies mean this film is almost over. Please, god, let it be over #ZombieLake
I may be forced to take back my earlier tweet. There's no boobs in the last half-hour of the film, and it was definitely worse #ZombieLake
Thank god that's over. #ZombieLake
My flatemate maintains that this was the world's best soft-core porn nazi zombie family drama movie. It sad that he's right #ZombieLake
So #ZombieLake was our fifty-second #TrashyTuesdayMovie. We've officially watched a year of truly terrible cinema.
#ZombieLake just dropped into the number 2 slot on our five-worst-movies list. Which means, sadly, Justice League has been bumped.
I'm now going to go lie on the floor and whimper until the memory of that film goes away.

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