My flatmate isn't joining me tonight, but he is partaking of Flesh Gordon on the big screen, so he's keeping the TTM tradition. #SpaceSub
And it's time. I choose to start this movie...now #SpaceSub
Wing Commander's theme music makes me want to fly a space shuttle. #SpaceSub
And the title sequence is pretty enough that you almost think you should have hope of a good film. I'm sure that'll go away soon #SpaceSub
Still, in 30 seconds they give you decades of background. It took Conan '11 30 minutes to set up a tenth of the background #SpaceSub
That little trill at the end of the credits sounds familiar, but for some reason we're not ending up on Tatooine #SpaceSub
'Splodey things. Already way better than Conan '11 #SpaceSub
You know, I'm thinking your bulletproof glass shouldn't wobble like cheap plastic when you hit it with a riffle stock #SpaceSub
"A mere two hours could decide the outcome of this war" #SpaceSub
Seven minutes of film, still no protagonist. Somebody protag, dammit  #SpaceSub
The flaw of the Trashy Tuesday Movie is that people will learn that I'm secretly a fan of Matthew Lillard #SpaceSub
Oh look, Freddy Prinze Jr is going to angst #SpaceSub
The most frustrating thing about this movie is the fact that it treats the Pilgrims subplot as Deus Ex Machina #SpaceSub
I should count the number of times Freddy Prinze Jr looks vaguely baffled in this film. #SpaceSub
God bless Lillard. Such horrible dialogue, and yet he tries to do something with it #SpaceSub
If nothing else, I'll admit that I really like the ship designs in this movie. #SpaceSub
JURGEN PROCHNOW! #SpaceSub
Baffled Freddy Count: 6 #SpaceSub
Hey look, space-ships with propellers! #SpaceSub
Did they just use the phrase "Kilrathi Gang Bang?" #SpaceSub
That visual is going to haunt me #SpaceSub
Suspicious Jurgen Prochnow is suspicious #SpaceSub
Unnamed minor pilot character has a truly dire Australia accent #SpaceSub
Baffled Freddie Count: 9 #SpaceSub
Although this time, at least, he's meant to look baffled #SpaceSub
The JURGEN PROCHNOW is angry, my friends. #SpaceSub
I like they way they've carefully disguised their use of Das Boot as a reference by casting Prochnow as vice-captain #SpaceSub
There's a crazy number of accents in this film. None of them good. #SpaceSub
Baffled Freddie Count: 13 #SpaceSub
Ah, the Pilgrim sub-plot. So much potential wasted. #SpaceSub
Baffled Freddie Count: 15 #Space Sub
Surely someone should be shouting "Prepare to dive!" #SpaceSub
Baffled Freddie Count: 19; Angry Prochnow Count: 12 #SpaceSub
In space, no-one can hear your machine gun. Except in this film, where they can. #SpaceSub
Oh Jurgen, how I wish you actually served some purpose other than advancing plot. #SpaceSub
The flaw of this scene is that someone required Freddie to emote. #SpaceSub
It improves immediately once they ask him to look baffled. It plays to his strengths. #SpaceSub
I can't even pretend to count the number of baffled looks he's deployed in this film anymore #SpaceSub
So apparently meeting on a space sub is a surefire recipe for love at first sight #SpaceSub
Or every character in this film has the emotional maturity of a thirteen year old. #SpaceSub
Action scene. Bad action scene. I've stopped paying attention til its done. #SpaceSub
I'm not sure what just happened, but one of the well-designed ships just blew up, so I'm assuming the action is done #SpaceSub
Terse, dramatic music. It appears stuff is happening #SpaceSub
This is a terrible film, but there are tiny moments that are slightly brilliant #SpaceSub
All it needs is people who can act, people who can direct, and someone who can write a script. #SpaceSub
It's a sad day when Matthew Lillard emotes better than anyone else in your film #SpaceSub
We couldn't figure out how to make this scene work, so we just ripped off the same scene in Das Boot #SpaceSub
"Their nuking every crater. Methodical bastards" The only line of Prochnow dialogue that doesn't hate on Freddie #SpaceSub
An airlock opens. People are sucked into space. Freddie looks...baffled? #SpaceSub
Is it just me, or should this film really be about Matthew Lillard and Saffron Burrows? #SpaceSub
Let me sum up the most awesome part of this movie: JURGEN PROCHNOW, SPACE MARINE #SpaceSub
'Course, why highly trained fighter pilots are also dressed up as space marines is beyond me. #SpaceSub
It's probably beyond Freddie too, given his baffled expression #SpaceSub
In the future, earth will go to war against bipedal hairless cats. #SpaceSub
We probably didn't mean too, they just freaked people out when they started talking #SpaceSub
Freddie's just been told he needs to engage in Deus Ex Machina. Guess which expression he's using? #SpaceSub
-10 points for using the "Why didn't you tell me?" "You didn't ask" exchange #SpaceSub
Really? A skipper missile that can only be destroyed by a star fighter? Fuck you, Wing Commander #SpaceSub
Oh my god, did Freddie just press his palm against the top of the cockpit to say goodbye to his dying commander? Seriously #SpaceSub
Summary of the Wing Commander plot: Freddie Prinze Jr saves the universe, looks baffled. Matthew Lillard rocks despite this #SpaceSub
The lesson of the film is simple: don't let the guy who wrote the games direct the damn film. #SpaceSub
Finally: If you don't cast Prochnow as a captain, no-one will notice you ripped of Das Boot #SpaceSub
And, somewhat randomly, this has become a love story. #SpaceSub
Aaaand that's the end of Wing Commander, perhaps the finest submarine movie ever set in space. #SpaceSub
It's a terrible film, but I can't help feeling some affection for all the unexplored ideas they packed into it #SpaceSub
Next Tuesday, however, there will be a return of the rage-tweet as the Flatmate and I watch Suckerpunch #SpaceSub