| 
  • If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

View
 

Robot Jox

Page history last edited by Capellan 10 years, 10 months ago

I choose to start the movie...now #GreenLaser
Flatmate is narrating the credits. I fear this will be more entertaining than the film #GreenLaser
It is fifty years since the nuclear holocaust almost destroyed mankind. Oh, eighties, hello. We've missed you #GreenLaser
National conflicts are replaced by one-on-one combat in giant robots. Piloted, near as I can tell, by colossal pricks #GreenLaser
Aparently fighting in giant robot requires elite kickboxing skills. Poorly choreographed elite kickboxing skills, but elite #GreenLaser
The premise of this film is so damn absurd that I cannot help but adore it #GreenLaser
Flatmate: Ah, misogyny. The sweet smell of sexism #GreenLaser
Hmm. Is this discussion about perfectly placed laser shots pulling victory from defeat a * portent of things to come?* So subtle #GreenLaser
So, in the future, we will do away with war and resolve international conflicts with wannabe pro wrestlers. #GreenLaser
Reading IMDB trivia about this film #GreenLaser
Empire Pictures went bankrupt during the films of this film. It's the most expensive film ever. WHERE DID THE MONEY GO? #GreenLaser
Holy shit, Joe Haldeman wrote the screenplay for this. What the hell, Robot Jox? #GreenLaser
Me: This film must go off the rails at some point, 'cause it doesn't deserve the shit it's been getting. (Fight Starts). Me: Oh #GreenLaser
GREEN LASER! #GreenLaser
Referees have shut down the weapons systems. Now it's man to man. Okay, yeah, what the fuck? #GreenLaser
Flying robot hand? This film is like the best three seconds of American Ninja given form #GreenLaser
Robot Jox. They exist to prevent the casualties that existed in war. Except for when they crush the grand stands #GreenLaser
We shall now have some *exciting legal battles* about *imaginary fucking sports*. No. No, no, no. #GreenLaser
This film swerves from awesome to awful so fast that I'm going to get whiplash #GreenLaser
You haven't finished ten fights. It isn't over until someone wins. You've just been Lawyered, son. #GreenLaser
Oh, eighties SF. Never change. Unless you plan on being good. We'll forgive you for that. #GreenLaser
Russian bad guys? Say it isn't so #GreenLaser
I'm confused. You have to learn how to fight in order to fight in a giant fucking robot. Why not just let the pilots fight? #GreenLaser
I realise it's all very non-geek of me to suggest we could skip the Giant Fucking Robots, but this plot point eludes me #GreenLaser
Directors of the world, a suggestion: when Gary Graham says "I can be in your film," thank him and escort him off the lot #GreenLaser
Man, you lose one fight, and everyone stops thinking your one of the greats #GreenLaser
Oh, look, we hadn't been misogynist for a couple of minutes. We'll throw in a reminder for you #GreenLaser
Man. Completely superfluous flying car. #GreenLaser
Flatmate: Are you laughing at their effects? Someone worked very hard on that. For about twenty minutes #GreenLaser
That is one, very lonely sausage #GreenLaser
We have hit a scene full of needless PEW PEW PEW noises #GreenLaser
When they remake this film - AND THEY SHOULD - it will star Lt. McShootypaws for added awesome #GreenLaser
Wow. This is the worst fucking romance subplot ever. Which is worse, 'cause it's, you know, a major plot point #GreenLaser
Wow. Misogyn and *racism*. How in hell is Tex a sympathetic character again? #GreenLaser
Flatmate: I kinda buy the romance between Achilles and Alexander. The hate-sex would be glorious #GreenLaser
Ah. Tex is evil. That makes far more sense. #GreenLaser
Terrible action scene is terrible. Would be improved by giant robots. Which...isn't saying much #GreenLaser
We ran out of plot points, so we're just going with betrayal for a couple of scenes #GreenLaser
Okay, this is why they don't let the Jox fight without the robot. 1) bad choreography 2) it leads to attempted sexy-times #GreenLaser
Flatmate: The attempted sexy-times would be much more interesting with giant robots #GreenLaser
I would make a joke about Transformers porn, but fear it already exists and someone would send me links #GreenLaser
In the eighties future, cell phones aren't a thing. Fortunately, remote controled flying cars crashing through the wall are #GreenLaser
So the out of control clone is driving the out-of-control giant robot. You don't get more SF than this #GreenLaser
There are two countries. They solve their disputes with robot fights. The referees that have total authority. Guess my next question #GreenLaser
When you want to have someone doing a big, echoey cry while falling to their death, don't have them fall in a big open room #GreenLaser
Totally inappropriate reaction to a vaguely sexual robot punch. #GreenLaser #WordsINeverExpectedToTypeInThatOrder
Mind you, I'm not sure there's an *appropriate* reaction to a vaguely sexual robot punch, but there you go #GreenLaser
Someone just figured out the referees didn't actually do anything meaningful. They're kinda...squished. #GreenLaser
This film, havimg decided it wasn't SF enough with rogue clones and giant robots, has gone into SPAAAAAAAACE #GreenLaser
Having gone into space, they immediately decide to crash land after one shot. Hence making the trip into space kinda stupid #GreenLaser
Also, taking out Achilles mech by shooting it in the heel? Kinda on the nose #GreenLaser
Flatmate: You are now asking yourself why they went into space. Me: I'm not asking myself, I'm asking twitter #GreenLaser
Twitter, I will pay you cash money if you can explain this movie to me in a way that's both narratively satisfing & makes sense #GreenLaser
Penis chainsaw. #GreenLaser
The crotch is not actually a good place to keep a chainsaw. I'm just saying. #GreenLaser
But seriously. CHAINSAW PENIS. #GreenLaser
This film isn't good, but it does embrace the crazy #GreenLaser
So we're now jump-starting the giant robot hand. After the giant robot chainsaw penis shot. I'm saying nothing #GreenLaser
The robot hand is highly explosive when it comes in contact with other robots. Again, saying nothing about the chainsaw penis #GreenLaser
Someone has finally figured out that the pilots can just fight each other, without giant robots #GreenLaser
There is a great deal of machismo in this scene. No context for it. Which makes for a shitty climax. #GreenLaser
Thus proving that once you've unleashed the chainsaw penis, there really isn't anywhere else to go #GreenLaser
No, seriously, fuck off. That ending was *shit* and utterly disconnected from the rest of the film #GreenLaser
I mean, I would have given them a pass if the long, soulful stare between Achilles and Alexander ended in sexy-times #GreenLaser
The post-fight fist bump, however, is completely fucking pants #GreenLaser
Flatmate: You just think that ending is bad because you like your endings to have a relation to the movie they were in #GreenLaser
And that...well, it feels a little unfair to call this a movie. It wasn't really movie-shaped. #GreenLaser
But it was Trashy. And it is Tuesday. So we'll accept movie as a signifier 'cause there's nothing else handy #GreenLaser
But Robot Jox is done, thus concluding our Future Sports trilogy #GreenLaser
Next week, we start the epic JOSH KIRBY hexology with Josh Kirby: Planet of the Dino-Knights #TrashyTuesdayMovie #GreenLaser
So the great strength of Robot Jox, apart from the penis chainsaw, is its willingness to commit to nonsensical bullshit #GreenLaser
I mean, nothing makes any sense, but it makes no sense like it means it, motherfuckers, and it's going to do it hardcore #GreenLaser
Just check out the quote page on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102800/trivia?tab=qt&ref_=tt_trv_qu … #GreenLaser

Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.